Shannon and I were talking the other day about parenting. We were talking about what kinds of things we want to try to train into our son, and what kinds of values we would want him to have. We were wondering for the ump-teenth time what he will be like, and what his interests will be. Will he like sports? Will he be interested in science? Will he be musical, artistic, a writer? Shannon and I were both quite academic in nature growing up, and so one of us made the comment that it might be challenging for us if our child wasn’t academic. How will we encourage him to reach his full potential, yet not punish him or make him feel bad for bringing home a C on his report card if he tried his best and just had a hard time in that subject?

And then, Shannon said something that I thought was very profound, and that I’ve been thinking about for several days. She said, “What if we were to reward character over acheivement?” That totally clicked with me. Although we would want to celebrate if our son gets an A in some class, why not get even MORE excited if he stood up for a friend who was being picked on, even if it wasn’t popular? Why not give “gold stars” not just for doing chores around the house, but for the attitude with which they are done? Why not recognize hard work and diligence, even if the results aren’t quite what had been hoped for? Why not make it ok to fail, as long as you are doing things honestly and with integrity? Why not get the most excited, give the most praise, and give the highest rewards to the things that really matter?

My sense is, that could totally turn our son’s value system up-side-down from that of the culture’s around us - in a good way! He wouldn’t cheat to try to get a better mark, because it’s honesty that counts more than the grades. He wouldn’t feel worthless or like he had done something wrong if he failed at a project or an endeavor, because success isn’t what matters most. He wouldn’t feel that the ends justify the means, because the way you get somewhere really does matter.

This was especially challenging to me lately because I’ve been reading the book “Outliers”, by Malcom Gladwell. It’s been a fascinating read about what makes someone rise above the crowd to be exceptionally successful. He mentions a number of examples where particular upbringings or parenting styles provided children with a tremendous advantage in becoming an “outlier”. And, I find myself thinking, I want to do those things to give my child the best chance at success. I want him to stand above the rest! And yet, as much as success is great, I have to remind myself, what really matters? What do I have as my definition of success?

In the end, I believe that character does matter over acheivement. Why? Because I believe that’s the value system God has. We usually ask God to remove the problems we have in life, but I’m starting to understand that they are often tools He is using to refine our character. Think of what Paul said in 1 Corinthians 13. If I can speak in the tongues of men and angels, or have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries, or even if I give all I have to the poor, but I don’t have love, I’ve gained nothing. The character and motivation behind our achievements is perhaps the only thing that counts! 

And so, my hope and prayer is that by rewarding character over acheivement, we’ll be able to instill that value in our son as well.

My co-worker (who is also named Jason) and his wife just had their baby this morning. We’ve been comparing notes now and then over the last few months, since their due date was only a month before ours. So, the fact that their baby has arrived (although 2 and a half weeks early) has really started to make me think - there’s not much time till our baby arrives too!

I mean, we have most things ready:

• Crib - check
• Stroller - check
• Car seat - check
• Change table - check
• Rocking chair - on the way
• Baby clothes - check and check! (but then, I hear they need lots!)

• Bag to take to the hospital
• New car to replace our 2-door hatchback (if we can afford it)
• Ordering our “how to be a parent” manual - anyone know where to find one?
• Sleep deprivation training
• A heaping helping of patience, grace, and light-hearted attitude

Judging by the fun I’ve had recently hanging out with some other people’s kids recently, I’m sure I will totally love having a baby - at least most of the time. May God give me grace for the rest!

Hanging out with Jeff and Ashlees son Nate

33 weeks already and insomnia has taken over. I woke up last night at 2:30, then 5:30, then was awake for good at about 6:00. Tossing, turning, peeing, ahhh! So frustrating! It doesn’t even really make sense to me because I feel tired but I just can’t get comfortable. And my little boy moved a little jungle gym into my belly, or at least that’s how it feels. Now, don’t get me wrong, I am proud of his little break dancing moves and every time he moves I feel a sense of reassurance…but at the same time…..I feel like spanking (what I think is his little bum poking into my ribs) and say, “SIT STILL!” But I guess this is what I should expect for having a little boy.

So. Got my H1N1 vaccine. hmph. I hate decisions and I hate difficult decisions even more. J and I hummed and hawed and prayed and researched and decided to go ahead. Now 2 days afterwards my legs feel achy….am I just becoming a paranoid mommy? Oh man, I guess it’s the beginning of difficult decisions!

Otherwise- I’ve officially reached the “I can’t see my feet” phase. I love the kicking and moving and dancing and re-decorating that goes on in my belly though. Baby gets inches out with his kicks and it looks soo weird and feels even more bizarre.

I’m getting on a plane next week. Ugh. I hate flying and hate it even MORE in pregnancy. Something about stale air, not being able to move, bumpy turbulence and nausea all rolled into one. Now I’m contemplating- should I wear a mask? Would people think I’M the sickie or just that I’m paranoid?

I’m nostalgic in a way to think that pregnancy only lasts a few more months but mainly just getting excited about meeting this little boy. Curly hair or straight? Dark or blond? Blue eyes or brown? Left handed or right? So many questions and anxieties until I actually count his fingers and toes.

We’ve been back from Africa for about 3 1/2 months now, and I (Jason) have gotten fully back into my work in the IT department at Power to Change. I try to send out an update about what’s going on in the ministry and how I’m involved with it (along with some personal updates) every few months. For family and friends who are interested, here’s the latest fall update.

Fall PTC Update

I seem to remember having a lightbulb idea of what I wanted to write about on here, but now have completey lost my brain again…it’s really becoming a losing battle. Placenta - 10, Brain -1. In fact, without scaring fellow nurses too terribly out there, I made a ridiculous medication error the other day and I can’t explain it except to say that I think my placenta took all my blood from my brain and I was left with a few cells to do my work. I walked clear into a different patients room, not really remembering that my patient was supposed to be a man, and gave a random woman patient my man’s medication. What was I thinking? I have never made such a blatant error but I figure my life is over as I once knew it. Is this what motherhood will be like? Forgetting things mid-sentence, walking one direction then realizing I should be walking the other, having blank-out moments when I am not really sure what is going on….yikes. Someone reassure me I’ll get my brain back post-child!!!

So I’m 6 months today. I have to say I’m enjoying this time more than any other so far in pregnancy. Feeling baby kicking away, getting winded walking a few feet too fast, starting to buy baby ’stuff.’ I’m getting excited now that some of the major hurdles are over…or so I think! I guess I’ll only get bigger and bigger from here! I like that people can actually TELL now that I’m pregnant. Although now people are asking to touch my belly, at first I was appalled! How weird of a question is that! But then I realized, ‘oh yeah, it IS cool to touch a pregnant woman’s belly.’ Hard to get used to though! Now ahead is just trying to pick out names. I basically have to stop running names past people. I’m tired of seeing people’s reactions to names I like. I figure they’re pretty normal names but then…I guess we all have our opinions. I guess the name will stay a secret until the end! (especially since we haven’t a clue what to call him!) I’m willing to take suggestions though…

Had a super weird moment today…I looked down at my belly only to find that ‘pop’ my belly button looked super strange. I know it may look normal to some people, but truly, it has suddenly poked out more than normal. It even feels funny! Jason noticed it right away too. My body is definitely not feeling like my own anymore! Especially when lying in bed and all of a sudden it starts visibly moving from the outside. Crazy! I love that I can feel baby move more and more though.